Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Someone ever give you mixed signals?

Today was a weird day. i dont know if it was because it was 1.11.11. Or what because today was weird.

Not that weird. Im over exaggerating. But on my last post, i stated how i can be a cry baby correct? This is a post about why, but i will tell you why. Just not the whole story.
My ex boyfriend, that ive been with for almost 3 years, and i are having problems. But this is no one time thing. We have been having problems for the past 2 yrs. And we always seemed to always say, it will work this time. Or we can get through this. But everytime, we are on and off. So i finally told him, we will try this one more time and if one of us says we are over, its over.

Problem: He didnt believe me. So when he broke up with me, i found another boyfriend. He was sweet and different. Someone ive never dated. Totally NOT my type, but thats why i liked him.

Problem: My ex boyfriend wanted me back. Shall i name names? Yea :
Boyfriend for 3yrs : Zach
Boyfriend thats different: Moises.
 So, back to the story, Zach wanted me back. We argued constantly how i told him i was done with him if we said we'd be over. Back and forth about how we never work it out, how we always argue, how we always break up. So, i thought i had made up my mind.

Problem: i told Moises that i was still in love with zach and how the situation played out.He told me, to do what my heart said to do. i didnt like that much, cause i truly dont know how to listen to what my heart is telling me. i listen to my mind. And my mind told me to stay with Moises. So i told him that i was going to stay withh him.

Problem: i watched the movie, College Grad... or Grad Student, or something. And the ending was sweet, and i thought thats what i should do. That could happen. But i totally forgot what i had learned in Drama Class:
Willing Suspension of Disbelief.
 Means it doesnt really happen, or things like that doesnt happen in real life. Well, my stupid ass, or maybe not so stupid, broke up with Moises to work it out with Zach.

Not going out, but trying to work it out before we go out. Dumb? Stupid? Maybe. Whatever the case may be, moments later, (moments being months), he told me he didnt want to work it out with me anymore because he cant trust me and im always with guys.
Well, i have no excuse for both of that.
We dont trust eachother basically. We both knew that. i thought that was the reason for us working it out so we can learn to work it out.
Me being with boys is apart of my nature. i guess he thought i was flirting cause i said id cuff, (have a relationship), with one of my bestfriends. i didnt see it as a big deal, but he did. And i blew it off. Maybe that set him off.

What the case maybe, he told me it was over, so i said ohkay.
He told me later he wanted to take it back, i said no because i said i was serious about being done if one of us breaks it off. Then he told me then if im not going to work it out, he didnt want to talk to me because he couldnt stand seeing me and im not his. i told him i wanted to be friends with him but he wasnt having it. 

Now here goes the weird part
He came up to my locker today, and when i moved away, this is the conversation:

Him: "I came up here to talk to you"

Me: "Oh, i didnt know you wanted to talk to me"

Him: "Yea, well..."

*Silence*

Now is it me or if you came up to me wanted to talk to me, you should start the conversation. Cause i know damn well im not going to sit here and open myself up to you when you didnt want to talk to me in the first place.

The he goes:

Him: "Are you going to text me later?" (He means in class)

Me: "Yea, i guess" (Thoughts going though my mind: i thought you didn't want to talk to me. Now you want me to text you? What the hell??)
So we walks away. But no worries. He comes back. i guess he had to put his stuff in his locker cause now he didnt have his stuff with him. But this time, no conversation. So the bell rings, and i start to walk away and he calls my name so i can give him a hug.

I give him a hug. Being that i cant resist, but again... WHAT THE HELL??

I'm guessing he wants another chance. But idk whether i should or shouldnt. We have issues. And this isnt even half of it.

So....
Should i?

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